Money, Happiness and Success !!! - Part V
When your happiness depends on Situations:
Situations are never going to be the same. At every moment there is a change. No wonder our happiness index goes up and down all the moment and we never allow it stabilize. When situations are not in our favour , we are upset , the reason being the situation is not under our control.
You woke up to a beautiful morning, got everything done on time, left for your office to attend an important meeting only to find yourself stuck in a traffic jam for half an hour.
What will be your reaction? Frustration, irritation and agony. What happens to your good mood and happiness now? It disappears into thin air. Why ? You have assumed that everything will go your way. This is a simple example and a day in our life is made up of even more complicated situations than this one.
Why is that we have to always jump in to the situation? Why do we always try to set right the circumstances when things go wrong ? We failed to understand that to tackle any problem in life, the solution begins within ourselves.
Assuming you are driving a car, as always following all the road rules to have a safe journey. Now another car is coming on the wrong side and about to hit you. What would you do? You would first save yourself from collision. You won't carryon knowing that you will have an accident.
Why is that at physical level, when the situations worsen or circumstances change , we save ourselves from it ? And when things are at emotional level , we are always ready to damage ourselves by doing what is not needed in that situation. To avoid becoming victim of the situation which is not favourable to us, we have to take care of ourself. Its more sensible to take care of yourself rather than giving in to frustration,agony, stress, anger or any thing that causes pain.
The best lesson in life that anyone can learn is this : 'Nothing other than YOU is under your control'. The situation will automatically be set right where there is self management.
When your happiness depends on Achievements:
Achievements gives happiness to everyone. It can be on a small scale or on a larger scale depending on every individual's capacity and capability. As long as goals are reached and achievements happen, you feel you are happy.
Every individual has a different definition for achievement : for some its their carreer, for some its financial status, for some it could be the success of their kids , for some its completion of their studies , and for some even happiness is an achievement. Happiness is not achieved, it is how we are, an happy, contended, peaceful being.
Every achievement is a label acquired. Your profession is your label, your educational qualification is your label, your salary is your label, your status is your label. During our course of life , we tend to acquire as many labels as possible. That is what we are taught from childhood. We need them to have interest in life and keep us occupied and tied to this journey. We are judged by our labels acquired and we judge others according to their labels.
The problem starts when we attach ourselves to these labels. We fail to understand that these are just labels on the book cover and not the book itself. We are the book and not the label that we stick outside. We loose our happiness while searching for these different labels. We are more bothered about what label to stick on the cover and not the state of things inside. Labels are nice to acquire but don't get attached to these labels. Happiness is within. If you think labels give you happiness then that's illusion or so called 'maya' . Happiness is not achieved, it is how we are, an happy, contended, peaceful being. It is not in the doing, it is in the being.
P.S: When I started this Money, Happiness and Success series, I never thought that I will get this far in terms of learning the right perspective to look at life. I know this sounds a bit clichéd but that's the truth. This is the final one in this series but my search will continue. Your thoughts are welcome. Thanks to Sister Shivani for her inspiring lectures.
Comments
1. Having understood that happiness comes from within, how does one "live" that way?
2. After starting living this way, what should be one's attitude towards people, achievements and situations?
1. It is very difficult to remember the facts mentioned in your article always, and especially when you face those moments of frustration. During a calm moment of retrospect, they fall in place. So, is there a practical tip to remember these facts always?
2. How does one avoid an indifferent attitude towards people, situations and achievements, by still trying to follow what you mention in the articles?
It’s like testing the brake of your vehicle. You never do the testing part in heavy traffic. You set it right and keep in check when the conditions are normal, and it will automatically help you when you really need to apply brake. This too works the same way. You can’t wait till the moment of crisis.
2. Where there is love, there is no indifference. I don’t think there will be indifferent attitude when you are totally in the situation, with the people and you know you are complete inside and your happiness is not dependent on anything outside. Strength here doesn’t mean indifference; strength is the power of not getting into pain and helps others to come out of theirs.
Your thoughts are welcome.
2. "Strength here doesn’t mean indifference; strength is the power of not getting into pain and helps others to come out of theirs."
That hit the nail on the head!
Thanks!